BEYOND THE BOOKS
Beyond the Books: A Parent’s Blueprint for Building Emotional Intelligence and Resilience in New Adults
By this point in our parenting career, we know that “transition time” can be one of the most stressful periods for raising our kids- whether it's two naps to one nap, middle school to high school, driving a car, or leaving for college. Just when you startgetting comfortable, a new transition begins. And it’s no different when our Gen Z kids swap their caps and gowns for the “9-to-5.” They've grown up in a world where digital tools solve many problems. They’re swiping right for love, left for the next TikTok dance, and they’ve got apps to do everything from balancing a budget to landing a job.
However, there are two critical pieces of success that they must learn and experience that no app in the world can handle for them: Emotional intelligence (EI) and the art of getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.
The older our kids become, the more delicate the dance is for us as parents to empower versus overstepping- especially in times of transition. This is the time to be honest about some of yourpersonal hardest life lessons- whether it was professionally, financially, socially, or romantically. You now can look them in the eye and have the authentic conversations you may have sheltered them from for most of their lives (within reason- remember, we aren’t looking to traumatize them). Why is this important? Because it will show them that you moved through these experiences through empathy and getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. It was not through social media or apps.
Here are some helpful tips for you to balance on that tightrope walk:
1. Talk about the tough stuff: Encourage honest conversations about what's happening with them—beyond the screen. Get them to open up about the job hunt struggles, the awkwardness of new work environments, and the social scenes that aren't always easy to navigate.
2. Normalize “the struggle is real”: Share your stories of when things didn't go according to plan. Hearing about how wehandled our screw-ups (gracefully or not) teaches them that it is ok to do the same.
3. Decision time: Let them make their calls and take accountability for the outcomes. Whether figuring out how to invest their first paycheck or planning a trip with friends, those choices build confidence. This will be one of the most challenging “transition” moments for you as a parent. You may believe (and could be certain) that they are making the wrong decision, but the only way they will learn about themselves, and others is by giving them the autonomy to make their own choices. Additionally, praising them for taking accountability for their mistakes based on their own decisions is equally important. This will also be an internal struggle as a parent- commending them for their mistakes. However, taking accountability and overcoming that uncomfortable emotion is one of life’s most essential skills. While your relationship with your child may evolve into more like a friend than a parent, remember, your approval matters for better or worse. And I can say that for myself, even at 46 years old.
4. Comfort zone exits: Push them to leave their comfort zones. New experiences—like traveling solo or attending networking events—will help them adapt and grow. The pride they will feel after facing these awkward situations alone will be an emotion they will remember forever.
5. No GPS for life: Remind them that it's normal to feel lost sometimes. Life doesn't come with a set of directions, and we are all kinda “winging it.” Some of the best experiences come from the most unexpected turns.
6. Stress less: Show them how to breathe and decompress when things get intense. Managing stress is vital, whether it's a workout, volunteering, a hobby (learning to play an instrument, adult coloring books), or just chilling out with friends.
Which brings me to my final suggestion….
7. Digital detox: We all know we stress less when forcing ourselves to take a break from scrolling. Unplugging is now our greatest gift, and we need to remind ourselves and our adult kidsthat there's a world out there beyond the screen.
By steering Gen Z graduates towards embracing Emotional Intelligence and resilience, we’re setting them up for all thetwists and turns that come with “Adulting.” And while we can’t do it for them, we can guide them through it.
And one last thing, let’s not forget to tell them they’ve got this because they do. And so do you! #thestruggleisreal
Heather Redisch
